On Love, Transition & Trust

Early this morning I sat on a platform made from dark-stained wood, overlooking a valley of Colombian heartland. My feet, kept warm by wool socks, dangled over the edge without fear of the distance below.

The sun was slow to rise, appearing first behind a curtain of clouds that were reluctant to reveal her and invite in a new day. The birds’ songs were a well-tuned orchestra that ushered in the shifting sky through phases of darkness developed into light. Howls were heard off in the distance, mere echoes in the valley whose eyes, slightly open, could only see the veil of vapor that encircled it.

After an hour of observing, the fog and the sun compromised to lighten the mist and brighten the light, revealing the true beauty of the valley. She was a swirling palette alive with earth tones – shades of greens, deep orange clay, magenta flowers, crimson birds.

I sat in awe through this un-ticketed transition into new day, grateful for the world for so selflessly offering the gift of life, received all too often without appreciation.

It’s in these moments of soft morning that I know peace. It’s in this sensate experience of a day re-opening that my heart, too, opens with trust. It’s in the uncompromising intelligence of this evolution that I am able to surrender, a little bit deeper, each and every time.

This transition, of dream to reality, is where I experience my deepest love.

Love, a word for the sensations that surround my heart when I surrender to Mother Earth and the unfolding of the day, come what my may.

Love, an expression of gratitude for my self, no less complex than the soil of this valley that gives life to cactus, sage, succulents, wild flowers. A self that too requires fertilization, that too asks to be planted with seeds, that too blooms with patience and time.

Love, the infinite appreciation of universal design for inviting people into life’s flow when you couldn’t have charted a better time.

Love can feel like an underserving word, empty of profound emotions and our experiences inside of them. Love can feel like everything you never knew, like everything you never knew you wanted, like everything you never new was within possibility.

Love knows infinite ways to express itself, and learns more, every day.

Today as I sit, an observer to the transition into new day, I am most called to express love for the person I share this life with.

The intuition and intellect of Mother Earth this morning is a reminder that our time together – six months, 180 days – is a mere drop in the pool of infinite existence.

But the weight of this drop cannot be simplified by time and days. The ripples enveloped and the current charged exist in a continuum where immeasurable is both the metric and the impact that this drop, this beautiful being, continues to have in my life.

I’ll never know what brought about our good fortune in finding one another. But I am certain that continuing to discover one another inside of our individual transitions is a testament to the beauty and persuasion of love, so long as you let it. So long as you surrender to love as you do the processes of Mother Earth, it will earn a place inside your heart, next to the certainty of new day rising.

Navigating love from different physical landscapes is a journey all it’s own. It is not without great challenge or frustration. It breathes inside of a framework of patience, compromise, and sacrifice.

But it is alive with opportunity and nuanced perspective. It is opportunity to cultivate deep self-love knowing that your partnership will be richer as a result. It is opportunity to challenge personal and collective boundaries. It is opportunity to re-appreciate mutual commitment. And it is opportunity to reimagine your love – what it’s founded on, what it needs to grow, and what it’s capable of becoming.

Perhaps though, the most profound offering of being in love in transition is the opportunity to surrender, completely, to trust.

This surrender, without reservation, couples tremendous respect and accountability with the beautiful privilege of honoring and affirming trust for the person you love. There is, truly, nothing higher.

Love in transition does not assume perfection. Instead, it asks for honesty and self-awareness, recognizing when we step backwards in growing towards our highest self, the person the other deserves.

On most days, love in transition does not offer direct affirmation. It can bring days of not talking and months of physical absence, creating a climate filled with fear.

Fear of inadequacy. Fear of insecurity. Fear of doubt. Fear of our own truth.

Falling into fear-based rational is at times unavoidable, but by mindfully observing our cycles of thought and slowing down the chatter of our mind, we can turn back towards trust and truth. It’s in trust and truth that we fall away from fear and are reconnected to love, time and time again.

This morning, witness to a Colombian valley unfolding in new day, I vulnerably re-opened to trust. The wind has picked up slightly since the onset of the sun and the weather’s indecision casts a shadow of uncertainty on the course of the day. I once again close my eyes in observance and breathe into the space around my heart.

It’s here that truth lives. It’s here that I am reminded of trust in transition. It’s here that I can fall in love with my self, and with him, over and over again.

The last six months have redefined my life and reimagined possibility. Here’s to continuing to redefine love, our love, over and over again.

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